Where have I been for the last 10 days? It's flown by... and yet, I don't have much to report. Thanksgiving was wonderful, we got to spend time with my crazy family. I stopped listening to my hunger signals and started stuffing food in as fast as I could get it in. And because of that, I was left feeling gross, stretched out, and neglected. I've been listening to my body again and it's amazing that a few days can make you feel better.
One good thing.. I have been given the green light to run again. Dr. Josh suggested a different knee brace and so I'm going to buy one and kick my training back into gear. Hopefully pain-free gear.
I wish I had more to say... maybe tomorrow. Tonight, I shall go read.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Monday, November 21, 2011
Hopeful...
I had my appointment with the chiropractor/physical therapist this morning... I was nervous going in that he was going to tell me - no more running. He didn't say that. He definitely thinks it's a tendon issue. He did some manual massaging. Then he did the electro-stimulation and ice at the same time... followed by the ultrasound. Finally he did some trigger point dry needling, which was interesting.
So far, my knee is feeling good. I'm still resting and icing. I'm gonna start working in some other forms of activity and after a few treatments with Dr. Josh, I'm gonna get the running green light again.
In other news, I had a fabulous birthday weekend. Great time with great friends and family. Followed up with the Washington Redskins laying a big fat goose egg. You can't win them all, I suppose.
So far, my knee is feeling good. I'm still resting and icing. I'm gonna start working in some other forms of activity and after a few treatments with Dr. Josh, I'm gonna get the running green light again.
In other news, I had a fabulous birthday weekend. Great time with great friends and family. Followed up with the Washington Redskins laying a big fat goose egg. You can't win them all, I suppose.
Friday, November 18, 2011
33 Years in the Making...
33 years ago, my mom went into the hospital and gave birth to a bouncing baby girl. Teeny tiny... 4 lbs, 14 oz. Much has happened since that day... first words, first teeth, first steps, school, college, boyfriends, broken hearts, jobs, etc.
I am a sum of those years. I've learned so much through the years. I've changed so much. Life has been good to me and I hope that continues. As I sit here on my 33rd birthday, I can't help but feel blessed.
I can't wait to see what year 34 has in store for me!
I am a sum of those years. I've learned so much through the years. I've changed so much. Life has been good to me and I hope that continues. As I sit here on my 33rd birthday, I can't help but feel blessed.
I can't wait to see what year 34 has in store for me!
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Scared...
Okay, so Blake and I are at the point where soon we'll be actively trying to make a mini-me (or him) and yet every day it seems like someone approaches us and tells us not to have kids. Friends, acquaintances, people who have kids, people who don't... it seems like the general public thinks that kids ruin your life and that everyone should stop having them. Or maybe they just think that Blake and I would produce offspring that would take over the world (Pinky & The Brain brain brain)...
That being said, it scares me. I know kids are expensive. I know that the experience will change our lives as we know them. I know that there will be really rough times, with exhaustion, frustration, feelings of guilt, failure, etc. But to have so many people tell us not to have kids, makes it seem like there's something we don't know.
What I don't hear enough of is how wonderful their kids are... how the experience is hard, but totally worth it. How, if we want kids, we should totally have them.
Of course, we aren't going to base our decision to have kids or not on what other people say, but why do people have to try to freak you out about it? Make you feel like it would be the worst decision you ever made?
That being said, it scares me. I know kids are expensive. I know that the experience will change our lives as we know them. I know that there will be really rough times, with exhaustion, frustration, feelings of guilt, failure, etc. But to have so many people tell us not to have kids, makes it seem like there's something we don't know.
What I don't hear enough of is how wonderful their kids are... how the experience is hard, but totally worth it. How, if we want kids, we should totally have them.
Of course, we aren't going to base our decision to have kids or not on what other people say, but why do people have to try to freak you out about it? Make you feel like it would be the worst decision you ever made?
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Marathoner...
That's right... I'm a marathoner. Talk about some awful pictures... but here you go, just before I crossed the finish line...
Monday, November 14, 2011
I Ran Richmond...
Sort of.
I'm not sure how people do these organized recaps... I don't remember a ton! First things first... The Expo. It was very easy to find and it wasn't very hard to pick up my bib. The vendors themselves, they were all pretty crowded, but I still managed to buy a new Sweaty Band and a new ifitness belt. I picked up my shirt and then we headed out.
That evening, I got as much rest as possible. I went to bed and ended up having a dream that I was late to start the race and wasn't able to compete. That was at 2:30 a.m. so needless to say I didn't get much sleep after that. I tossed and turned and finally got up at 5:15 and got ready. We stopped at Wawa (gas station/convenience store) and I got a bagel and some Powerade. We made it downtown without any issue and it was easy to find parking. I made mistake number 1 once we parked the car. I hadn't been having any knee pain this week so I decided to forgo my knee bands. I put them in the bag Blake would be carrying so I could grab them later if I needed them. We braved the chilly air and hit the port-a-potty line.
Then we stood around waiting for the half-marathon to start. Blake took off down the road with his signs so he would be able to see me around mile 2. Once the half-marathon started, they started forming the corrals for the Marathon. I was standing there all by myself and the people around me were in their own zones... I wished at that point that I had someone doing the race with me.
And before I knew it, we were off. I started my run/walk intervals and I was feeling good. Looking back, I went out too fast though. Live and learn, I guess? The spectators were great, there were bands along the route playing, people cheering us on. I saw Blake at mile 2 and gave him a quick kiss. I was still feeling good.
By mile 4, my knee was starting to twinge, but I knew it would be a while before I would see Blake again... It wasn't so painful that I had to stop or anything, I just knew I was in for an unpleasant experience. I tried to keep my thoughts positive... it was very difficult though.
By mile 10, it was hurting pretty bad, but I was pushing through it. I made it to the half-way point at 2 hours and 47 minutes. That was with me walking through quite a few intervals. The course support was great. There was always plenty of powerade/water and enough port-a-potties around so there weren't long lines.
By the time I saw Blake again, at mile 18, I had been walking for around 2 miles. I got my knee braces and tried to run some, but it was very painful. I cannot describe how much I just wanted to give up. I went into this telling myself that I just wanted to finish, but my brain apparently had different ideas. I was walking and I wanted to be running and I was beating myself up because of it.
I tried running some, but it proved to be too painful. There were many points where I had tears in my eyes, I wanted to stop so bad, but I wouldn't let myself. I just kept moving. Hobbling along. It hurt to even walk. I walked most of miles 18 through 25. Once I hit 25, I jogged a few paces here and there. Finally I was almost finished. I hit the 26 mile mark and knew it was a downhill go from there, which in theory is good, but considering it hurt the most going downhill, it was not easy.
I decided I wanted to be running when I crossed that finish line, so I ran. It hurt, but I ran. The look on my face as the photographer took my picture will likely be one of agony... but it doesn't matter. I crossed the finish line, with an official time of 6 hours and 3 minutes. And while I'm happy that I'm finished... I'm sad that I didn't train as well as I should've. I'm sad that I had to walk way more than I wanted. As silly as it seems, I'm disappointed in myself, even though I know I have no reason to be.
I could've quit. I could've not started. Instead I pushed through and that, in itself, is something to be proud of. So tell me... why am I having such a hard time with that?
I'm not sure how people do these organized recaps... I don't remember a ton! First things first... The Expo. It was very easy to find and it wasn't very hard to pick up my bib. The vendors themselves, they were all pretty crowded, but I still managed to buy a new Sweaty Band and a new ifitness belt. I picked up my shirt and then we headed out.
That evening, I got as much rest as possible. I went to bed and ended up having a dream that I was late to start the race and wasn't able to compete. That was at 2:30 a.m. so needless to say I didn't get much sleep after that. I tossed and turned and finally got up at 5:15 and got ready. We stopped at Wawa (gas station/convenience store) and I got a bagel and some Powerade. We made it downtown without any issue and it was easy to find parking. I made mistake number 1 once we parked the car. I hadn't been having any knee pain this week so I decided to forgo my knee bands. I put them in the bag Blake would be carrying so I could grab them later if I needed them. We braved the chilly air and hit the port-a-potty line.
Then we stood around waiting for the half-marathon to start. Blake took off down the road with his signs so he would be able to see me around mile 2. Once the half-marathon started, they started forming the corrals for the Marathon. I was standing there all by myself and the people around me were in their own zones... I wished at that point that I had someone doing the race with me.
And before I knew it, we were off. I started my run/walk intervals and I was feeling good. Looking back, I went out too fast though. Live and learn, I guess? The spectators were great, there were bands along the route playing, people cheering us on. I saw Blake at mile 2 and gave him a quick kiss. I was still feeling good.
By mile 4, my knee was starting to twinge, but I knew it would be a while before I would see Blake again... It wasn't so painful that I had to stop or anything, I just knew I was in for an unpleasant experience. I tried to keep my thoughts positive... it was very difficult though.
By mile 10, it was hurting pretty bad, but I was pushing through it. I made it to the half-way point at 2 hours and 47 minutes. That was with me walking through quite a few intervals. The course support was great. There was always plenty of powerade/water and enough port-a-potties around so there weren't long lines.
By the time I saw Blake again, at mile 18, I had been walking for around 2 miles. I got my knee braces and tried to run some, but it was very painful. I cannot describe how much I just wanted to give up. I went into this telling myself that I just wanted to finish, but my brain apparently had different ideas. I was walking and I wanted to be running and I was beating myself up because of it.
I tried running some, but it proved to be too painful. There were many points where I had tears in my eyes, I wanted to stop so bad, but I wouldn't let myself. I just kept moving. Hobbling along. It hurt to even walk. I walked most of miles 18 through 25. Once I hit 25, I jogged a few paces here and there. Finally I was almost finished. I hit the 26 mile mark and knew it was a downhill go from there, which in theory is good, but considering it hurt the most going downhill, it was not easy.
I decided I wanted to be running when I crossed that finish line, so I ran. It hurt, but I ran. The look on my face as the photographer took my picture will likely be one of agony... but it doesn't matter. I crossed the finish line, with an official time of 6 hours and 3 minutes. And while I'm happy that I'm finished... I'm sad that I didn't train as well as I should've. I'm sad that I had to walk way more than I wanted. As silly as it seems, I'm disappointed in myself, even though I know I have no reason to be.
I could've quit. I could've not started. Instead I pushed through and that, in itself, is something to be proud of. So tell me... why am I having such a hard time with that?
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Two Things Thursday
Yeah yeah, should be Three... says who?
It's two because I have TWO days left until I'm a marathoner. <~~~~Say what?
1. I'm starting to freak out a little. I have a list made so I can be sure to remember everything that's important on race day. I'll probably forget pajamas or clothes for the next day... you know something like that, but as long as I'm dressed appropriately on race day, who cares? I'm going into this with just the plan to finish it. I have no time goals. I'll be doing a run 2 minutes, walk 1 minute interval... and while taking that first walk break just out of the start corral is going to be really hard, I'm going to make myself do it. Everything I've read (and people I've talked to) tells me that by doing this, I should be able to finish stronger than if I ran the whole thing. I likely won't post tomorrow, so the next time you hear from me, I'll have stories to tell!
2. Radar is going to the kennel for the first time while we're gone. (Insert sad face here) Normally our family watches him... but everyone is either too far away or out of town, so the kennel it is. It's a nice place and all... I just hope he still loves me when we pick him up on Sunday.
Oh crud... let's make it three things afterall...
3. Happy Veteran's Day... Thank you for everything you do.. and to your families as well. You put your lives on the line every day so that we have freedom and for that, I am eternally grateful. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
It's two because I have TWO days left until I'm a marathoner. <~~~~Say what?
1. I'm starting to freak out a little. I have a list made so I can be sure to remember everything that's important on race day. I'll probably forget pajamas or clothes for the next day... you know something like that, but as long as I'm dressed appropriately on race day, who cares? I'm going into this with just the plan to finish it. I have no time goals. I'll be doing a run 2 minutes, walk 1 minute interval... and while taking that first walk break just out of the start corral is going to be really hard, I'm going to make myself do it. Everything I've read (and people I've talked to) tells me that by doing this, I should be able to finish stronger than if I ran the whole thing. I likely won't post tomorrow, so the next time you hear from me, I'll have stories to tell!
2. Radar is going to the kennel for the first time while we're gone. (Insert sad face here) Normally our family watches him... but everyone is either too far away or out of town, so the kennel it is. It's a nice place and all... I just hope he still loves me when we pick him up on Sunday.
Oh crud... let's make it three things afterall...
3. Happy Veteran's Day... Thank you for everything you do.. and to your families as well. You put your lives on the line every day so that we have freedom and for that, I am eternally grateful. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
If I Say So Myself...
I just ate the most delicious salad... In the bowl:
It's like - HELLO - you aren't hungry. It's because I've had some pretty atrocious habits the past few days and so my brain is telling me that I should continue down that path. Not a good idea.
4 days until the race! Woohoo!!!!
- Romaine Lettuce
- Goat Cheese
- Dried Cherries
- Bacon Crumbles
- Granny Smith Apple
- Almonds
- Raspberry Vinaigrette Dressing
It's like - HELLO - you aren't hungry. It's because I've had some pretty atrocious habits the past few days and so my brain is telling me that I should continue down that path. Not a good idea.
4 days until the race! Woohoo!!!!
Monday, November 7, 2011
Let's Be Honest...
1. I did not spend the past week fueling my body with nutritious foods.
2. I did spend the past week eating a bunch of junk and not caring about it.
3. I do not wish to fuel my body with nutritious foods this week.
4. I have fueled my body with nutritious foods today.
5. I will continue to fuel my body with nutritious foods this week in preparation for running 26.2 miles on Saturday.
6. I will enjoy my post-race food-fest.
7. I will get back to normal after I return from Richmond.
8. I am going to register for the full Rock N Roll Marathon in DC for St. Patrick's Day. There's a discount of $20 if you do so on 11/11/11 between 11 a.m. and 11 p.m.
9. What's your favorite spectator sign? Blake is going to make a few so he can be a good spectator.
2. I did spend the past week eating a bunch of junk and not caring about it.
3. I do not wish to fuel my body with nutritious foods this week.
4. I have fueled my body with nutritious foods today.
5. I will continue to fuel my body with nutritious foods this week in preparation for running 26.2 miles on Saturday.
6. I will enjoy my post-race food-fest.
7. I will get back to normal after I return from Richmond.
8. I am going to register for the full Rock N Roll Marathon in DC for St. Patrick's Day. There's a discount of $20 if you do so on 11/11/11 between 11 a.m. and 11 p.m.
9. What's your favorite spectator sign? Blake is going to make a few so he can be a good spectator.
Friday, November 4, 2011
7 Days, 19 Hours
I could go on... Richmond Marathon's website tells me how long until Race Day. I'm getting nervous. Tonight I'm going to sit down with a friend who just ran her first marathon (Marine Corps) and get the deets. I'm afraid she's going to tell me something that will completely freak me out.
My week has been extremely uneventful and I found I haven't had much to say. I hope y'all still love me. Maybe my brain will go back to "normal" after the race. Until then, it's likely going to be short posts. It's all I can put together.
My week has been extremely uneventful and I found I haven't had much to say. I hope y'all still love me. Maybe my brain will go back to "normal" after the race. Until then, it's likely going to be short posts. It's all I can put together.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
I've Done It Again...
Or maybe the title of this post should be: Oops, I did it again... *breaks out in song & dance*
Okay, back to regularly scheduled programming... Last week, Kimberly over at Healthy Strides issued a challenge. A strength training challenge... and well, I've gone and committed myself. For the month of November (which coincidentally is my birth-month), I committed to working in 8 strength training sessions. Today, November 1... I completed one. Jillian's 30 Day Shred... Oh how I love/hate you...
That being said, I think this challenge will be extremely helpful. And actually I plan to work on getting more than 8 sessions in because after the marathon, most of my workouts will be indoors. You see, it's dark when I leave in the morning, and dark when I get home and there isn't really a "safe" place for running in the dark around here. I know that the 30 Day Shred can fill in when I can't run... it's done it before.
And... the added benefit will be - I'll be buff by the time we go on our cruise in late January! Woohoo!
Okay, back to regularly scheduled programming... Last week, Kimberly over at Healthy Strides issued a challenge. A strength training challenge... and well, I've gone and committed myself. For the month of November (which coincidentally is my birth-month), I committed to working in 8 strength training sessions. Today, November 1... I completed one. Jillian's 30 Day Shred... Oh how I love/hate you...
That being said, I think this challenge will be extremely helpful. And actually I plan to work on getting more than 8 sessions in because after the marathon, most of my workouts will be indoors. You see, it's dark when I leave in the morning, and dark when I get home and there isn't really a "safe" place for running in the dark around here. I know that the 30 Day Shred can fill in when I can't run... it's done it before.
And... the added benefit will be - I'll be buff by the time we go on our cruise in late January! Woohoo!
Friday, October 28, 2011
Finally Friday
We made it to Friday everyone! Woohoo! Aren't you excited?
I am... though, don't hate me... I'm off work today. I made use of the day off and got in a 6 mile run this morning... you know, since they're calling for snow tomorrow. *STARES* It's October. It was a good run, there was a little pain in both knees today so I took care to stretch and ice when I got home. 2 weeks from tomorrow, I'm running a marathon! EEK!
It's going to be a busy Saturday for me... a birthday party for my niece, almost 2 hours away from home, and then a Halloween party at my cousin's. Woohoo.
What are your plans for the weekend?
I am... though, don't hate me... I'm off work today. I made use of the day off and got in a 6 mile run this morning... you know, since they're calling for snow tomorrow. *STARES* It's October. It was a good run, there was a little pain in both knees today so I took care to stretch and ice when I got home. 2 weeks from tomorrow, I'm running a marathon! EEK!
It's going to be a busy Saturday for me... a birthday party for my niece, almost 2 hours away from home, and then a Halloween party at my cousin's. Woohoo.
What are your plans for the weekend?
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Sometimes It Happens..
Sometimes you are going to overdo it.
Sometimes you are going to tear through a bag of Ritz Multigrain Air Crisp chips. Sometimes you're going to eat a bunch of oreos.. and peanut butter filled pretzels. Sometimes a king size Kit Kat package is going to land in front of you and you're going to devour it. Same thing for those Twizzlers. And sometimes, you're going to end up at Pizza Hut having stuffed crust pizza at 10:00 at night.
And you know what? Sometimes it's okay.
Sometimes you are going to tear through a bag of Ritz Multigrain Air Crisp chips. Sometimes you're going to eat a bunch of oreos.. and peanut butter filled pretzels. Sometimes a king size Kit Kat package is going to land in front of you and you're going to devour it. Same thing for those Twizzlers. And sometimes, you're going to end up at Pizza Hut having stuffed crust pizza at 10:00 at night.
And you know what? Sometimes it's okay.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Something... Anything...
Something is definitely better than nothing.
I woke up in a mood. A foul, nasty mood. All I wanted to do was go back to sleep. Today is a telework day though, and I had some things I had to take care of so I started working. Instead of getting my run out of the way first thing. I knew that probably meant I wasn't going to do it. I wasn't feeling it. Like I said... foul, nasty mood.
I finally laced up my bright pink/yellow shoes and decided I'd go run to the end of the street and back. A little more than a mile. A little more than doing nothing. And so, that is just what I did. I ran. I pushed. I finished that 1.25 miles and then I came inside and showered.
I call it a victory. My foul mood remains, but at least I did something active today.
I woke up in a mood. A foul, nasty mood. All I wanted to do was go back to sleep. Today is a telework day though, and I had some things I had to take care of so I started working. Instead of getting my run out of the way first thing. I knew that probably meant I wasn't going to do it. I wasn't feeling it. Like I said... foul, nasty mood.
I finally laced up my bright pink/yellow shoes and decided I'd go run to the end of the street and back. A little more than a mile. A little more than doing nothing. And so, that is just what I did. I ran. I pushed. I finished that 1.25 miles and then I came inside and showered.
I call it a victory. My foul mood remains, but at least I did something active today.
Monday, October 24, 2011
Less than 4 Hours...
I have a big smile on my face today... and it's all because of something that happened I did this weekend. I'm owning it... I did it and you know what? It was a major confidence boost!
I woke up Saturday morning and got myself dressed and ready for my last REALLY long run before the marathon (18 days). I had an english muffin with peanut butter and banana... I did some dynamic stretching. I set up my iPod and fuel belt. Out I headed. I set my nike plus up for just a basic workout, because I didn't care how far I went. My goal was to be out there for 3.5 to 4 hours... no matter how far that took me.
I took Starburst with me to fuel me, along with Powerade. I fueled along the way, when I felt the need. I tried to time it out so that it was just as I'd be fueling during the marathon according to their water/fuel stops. I felt strong. The run 2 minutes, walk 1 minute interval is really sweet. I ran along the road, down toward the beach... then along the boardwalk for a while... I headed over to the new boardwalk and covered that distance a couple times and then I was out of Powerade - EEK! Have no fear, I was near a gas station/convenience store. I was hopeful that their soda machine would have a water dispenser. It didn't. Beggars can't be choosers, so I filled up my water bottles in the bathroom and went back on my way.
The good news at that point was it was time to head home. The last 20 minutes, I walked through a couple run intervals, but mostly continued my run/walk intervals. There was a little knee pain on the downhill segments toward the end... I walked when necessary and I pushed through.
I got to the stopping point and ended the workout and you know what my iPod announced to me? The longest run to date... (duh, I knew that because it was the first time I had been out there for that long). The distance:
I woke up Saturday morning and got myself dressed and ready for my last REALLY long run before the marathon (18 days). I had an english muffin with peanut butter and banana... I did some dynamic stretching. I set up my iPod and fuel belt. Out I headed. I set my nike plus up for just a basic workout, because I didn't care how far I went. My goal was to be out there for 3.5 to 4 hours... no matter how far that took me.
I took Starburst with me to fuel me, along with Powerade. I fueled along the way, when I felt the need. I tried to time it out so that it was just as I'd be fueling during the marathon according to their water/fuel stops. I felt strong. The run 2 minutes, walk 1 minute interval is really sweet. I ran along the road, down toward the beach... then along the boardwalk for a while... I headed over to the new boardwalk and covered that distance a couple times and then I was out of Powerade - EEK! Have no fear, I was near a gas station/convenience store. I was hopeful that their soda machine would have a water dispenser. It didn't. Beggars can't be choosers, so I filled up my water bottles in the bathroom and went back on my way.
The good news at that point was it was time to head home. The last 20 minutes, I walked through a couple run intervals, but mostly continued my run/walk intervals. There was a little knee pain on the downhill segments toward the end... I walked when necessary and I pushed through.
I got to the stopping point and ended the workout and you know what my iPod announced to me? The longest run to date... (duh, I knew that because it was the first time I had been out there for that long). The distance:
20 miles
20.01 miles to be exact. In 3 hours and 48 minutes. I don't have any time goals for this upcoming marathon, just to finish it and not be dead. But doing 20 miles in less than 4 hours definitely gave me confidence that I'm going to be able to finish this marathon. That I'm going to rock it.
I went inside, stretched, iced, showered and rested the day away. We went to dinner with my cousin and his girlfriend and then hung out at home. Surprisingly... I'm not sore. Not even a little. There was some stiffness yesterday, but nothing to write home about. I shall go knock on wood now...
Set yourself a goal and reach for it. Do what it takes and you'll make yourself proud. Believe me... I know!
Friday, October 21, 2011
Perception
I can look in the mirror and see myself, yet I don't think I truly know what I look like. Does that make sense? I have a distorted perception.
There used to be a tv show on... I don't remember the name of it (maybe How to Look Good Naked)... At the beginning, it had a line-up of women in all shapes and sizes (from smallest to largest based on measurements)... and the "contestant" had to place herself where she felt she would belong in the line-up. I'm pretty sure I would totally mess up where I belong (as most women on the show overestimated their size).
It's hard though... I wish I could see myself through someone else's eyes. Anyone got some eyes I can borrow?
There used to be a tv show on... I don't remember the name of it (maybe How to Look Good Naked)... At the beginning, it had a line-up of women in all shapes and sizes (from smallest to largest based on measurements)... and the "contestant" had to place herself where she felt she would belong in the line-up. I'm pretty sure I would totally mess up where I belong (as most women on the show overestimated their size).
It's hard though... I wish I could see myself through someone else's eyes. Anyone got some eyes I can borrow?
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Fears
Here's the thing... I mentioned briefly that I'm embracing Intuitive Eating. I've done really well for the most part.. not overeating, listening to my body, fueling with nutritious foods most of the time, and still allowing for indulgences if that's what I want.
The problem... I am afraid. I'm afraid of the scale. I'm afraid of that number creeping up. Want to know the really funny part? I don't know what the number is doing, whether it's creeping up or not... because I am to afraid to get on the scale. I'm afraid of what my mind will do if the number is higher than before... I'm afraid of what my mind will do if the number is lower than before. I'm afraid that I'm going to go to the doctor in a few weeks for a routine examination and be shocked by what the scale says. Or that I'll feel ashamed or embarrassed about what it says (which I realize is completely ridiculous).
I'm healthier than I've ever been. I've been co-existing with food for a few weeks now in a healthier relationship than ever. I'm not counting things... I'm not freaking out about measuring things... I'm being active because I want to be, not because I need to be. I'm making healthy, nutritious choices probably close to 90% of the time. My clothes fit and I feel good in them. So what if they aren't a size zero.
So why the fear? Why does that damn number matter so much? What's the difference between 140 pounds and 125 pounds? Yes, I know the literal difference is 15 pounds... But what's the body difference? What's the happiness difference? Is it worth fighting through to get to 125 only to have to limit yourself for life? Why does that number matter?
It shouldn't. I know it doesn't define me. I'm still afraid of it and I'm not quite sure where to go with that.
The problem... I am afraid. I'm afraid of the scale. I'm afraid of that number creeping up. Want to know the really funny part? I don't know what the number is doing, whether it's creeping up or not... because I am to afraid to get on the scale. I'm afraid of what my mind will do if the number is higher than before... I'm afraid of what my mind will do if the number is lower than before. I'm afraid that I'm going to go to the doctor in a few weeks for a routine examination and be shocked by what the scale says. Or that I'll feel ashamed or embarrassed about what it says (which I realize is completely ridiculous).
I'm healthier than I've ever been. I've been co-existing with food for a few weeks now in a healthier relationship than ever. I'm not counting things... I'm not freaking out about measuring things... I'm being active because I want to be, not because I need to be. I'm making healthy, nutritious choices probably close to 90% of the time. My clothes fit and I feel good in them. So what if they aren't a size zero.
So why the fear? Why does that damn number matter so much? What's the difference between 140 pounds and 125 pounds? Yes, I know the literal difference is 15 pounds... But what's the body difference? What's the happiness difference? Is it worth fighting through to get to 125 only to have to limit yourself for life? Why does that number matter?
It shouldn't. I know it doesn't define me. I'm still afraid of it and I'm not quite sure where to go with that.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Hump
Gotta climb over the hump that is Wednesday. This week has seemed like the longest week in the history of the world and yet we still have two days left.
We're almost on the downward slide... I guess technically we are, since for me anyhow, it's almost time to go home. Then it's exercise, dinner, shower, and chill until it's time to go to bed and get up and do it all over again tomorrow.
I read (in many places) that today is Love Your Body Day... so, please leave me a comment letting me know what you love most about your body... only positivity allowed today (and everyday) please!
What do I love most about my body???
I love that my body was strong enough to put up with years of not being taken care of... and that it held (holds) no grudges about the fact that I don't always give it the best fuel. It's a strong body and I'm a strong woman.
Your turn!!!!
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I read (in many places) that today is Love Your Body Day... so, please leave me a comment letting me know what you love most about your body... only positivity allowed today (and everyday) please!
What do I love most about my body???
I love that my body was strong enough to put up with years of not being taken care of... and that it held (holds) no grudges about the fact that I don't always give it the best fuel. It's a strong body and I'm a strong woman.
Your turn!!!!
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Online Shopping Success!
So we moved out here to the boonies... okay, it's not that bad really, but still we are 30+ minutes to the nearest mall so I get to call it the boonies. I have been in dire need of some new pants and I broke down last week and decided to place a few online orders.
The first of which arrived today... from American Eagle. New jeans. New cords. New trousers. And they all fit. The waist could probably be taken in a smidge, but the fit over the ghetto booty (which I wouldn't trade for the world) and thunder thighs (only meaning that they are strong and muscular) is perfect! I'm happy with the purchase! I will say that the Taupe cords are more green in real life than they are online, but they're still pretty cool and really comfy.
Do you shop online? Where do you have the most success? I'm currently still waiting for a purchase from The Limited to arrive... more pants, a couple tops, and a couple skirts... I hope they get here soon!!!!
The first of which arrived today... from American Eagle. New jeans. New cords. New trousers. And they all fit. The waist could probably be taken in a smidge, but the fit over the ghetto booty (which I wouldn't trade for the world) and thunder thighs (only meaning that they are strong and muscular) is perfect! I'm happy with the purchase! I will say that the Taupe cords are more green in real life than they are online, but they're still pretty cool and really comfy.
Do you shop online? Where do you have the most success? I'm currently still waiting for a purchase from The Limited to arrive... more pants, a couple tops, and a couple skirts... I hope they get here soon!!!!
Monday, October 17, 2011
Favereds
Oh yeah.. I'm pretty sure I've died and gone to heaven now. After reading about Janae using Starburst to fuel her run I decided that would be a grand idea. I haven't tested it out yet... I've got that on tap for this weekend. That being said, I went into the store planning to buy Starburst. And I walked out a very happy lady. You see... I was going to buy a regular package of Starburst and then I would have to dig through and pick out all of the red and pink ones... because let's be honest, they are the best. I would've left the orange and yellow for Blake.
So, imagine my delight when I walked into the store and found this staring back at me:
Oh yeah!
All reds, all the time. Cherry, Watermelon, Fruit Punch, and Strawberry... and all of a sudden, I cannot wait for my long run to get here this weekend!
Speaking of running... I took the old knee out for a test run on Saturday and ended up doing 10 miles, relatively pain-free. I wore a band around my ITB and I think I'm going to add my runner's knee strap to that and I think that will make it all work out.
So my plan is morphing again and I'm going to get some good quality runs in this week and then Saturday I'm going to hit the road for 16 to 18 miles... then I'm going to start my taper. Race day is November 12 and I'm going to rock it!
I mean, if a 100 Year Old Man can run a marathon, surely I can finish one! Rock on people!
So, imagine my delight when I walked into the store and found this staring back at me:
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| Source |
Oh yeah!
All reds, all the time. Cherry, Watermelon, Fruit Punch, and Strawberry... and all of a sudden, I cannot wait for my long run to get here this weekend!
Speaking of running... I took the old knee out for a test run on Saturday and ended up doing 10 miles, relatively pain-free. I wore a band around my ITB and I think I'm going to add my runner's knee strap to that and I think that will make it all work out.
So my plan is morphing again and I'm going to get some good quality runs in this week and then Saturday I'm going to hit the road for 16 to 18 miles... then I'm going to start my taper. Race day is November 12 and I'm going to rock it!
I mean, if a 100 Year Old Man can run a marathon, surely I can finish one! Rock on people!
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